Battle of the Eggs

"Ladies and Gentleman... for your edification and entertainment, we now present The Battle for Egg Supremacy!"

"In this corner, in white with a red stamp, holding the title of 'America's Best Tasting Egg,' we have Egg-Land's Best, 'Farm Fresh' eggs from 'Vegetarian Fed Hens' dining on a patented blend of natural products."





"And in this corner, in various shades of brown and tan, we have eggs that came from some chickens at a lady's house down the road a ways. They ate grass, weeds, bugs, grains, and whatever else they felt like."

"Well I gotta tell ya, I can see why people like the Egg-Land's Best there. Snappy dresser, pure looks, and fancy pedigree... But personally, I think the farm eggs have a bit more character going in. They seem a bit more natural for this kind of fight."

Round 1:

"Oh, and both fighters have broken their yolks. The eggs have been cracked into bowls, and both yolks have been busted. Well, good thing this is a scrambled egg fight, eh? Egg-Land's Best is looking just a little palid. It's interesting that the yolk is paler, but the white is cloudier. What's that about?"

Round 2:

"Well, both eggs have been scrambled up, and cooking is done. The Egg-Land eggs are still looking a little pale there. I'm not sure if they can go the distance here. I guess those vegetarian fed hens must not get out much. I guess keeping them cooped up is the only way to insure that vegetarian diet, huh? That patented vegetarian diet, I should say."

Round 3:

"Well, the fight is over in the third round. The taste of the farm egg was far superior to 'America's Best Tasting Egg.' Now, I'm not one of those guys who thinks everything natural is always better, but really, it's like comparing store-bought tomatoes in January to one ripe off the vine in July. Maybe I should think about becoming one of those guys. 'America's Best Tasting Egg'? Well, I guess the American Culinary Institute must not have any back yard chickens around, ya know?"

"So in the end, the ragtag bunch of renegade eggs from some lady's back yard beat out the high-end grocery store eggs, and at a dollar a dozen, they came in at half the price. Those plain old back yard eggs are gonna be hard to beat, if you'll pardon the pun..."