Winter should be a restful time. Read books. Keep warm by the fire. Spend time with family. Think ahead and make plans.
I am going through those motions, but for some reason, I have this anxious feeling. Short temper, frustration, tension, a feeling of being overwhelmed or burned out. And I don't know why. It's been with me for several days now, and it's a bit exhausting. I've been active, but not particularly busy. I don't find myself fixated on anything particular problem. I can't even find a focus for what the feelings are about. In fact, I can't focus on much of anything. You know that feeling you get, after something negative happens, like a break up, the loss of a pet, or doing something you regret? You can't concentrate because your mind keeps wandering back to That Bad Thing that happened. It's kind of similar to that, only there is no Bad Thing. My thougths just wander off to some ambigous sense of anxiety, or bounce around like a pinball. And it's starting to piss me off! I'm ready to move on now.
Oh sure, I can find specific things to feel stressed about, but no more than usual. Probably less than usual. My kids have been a little extra cranky, but which is cause and which is effect? Maybe my poor diet lately is messing me up. (I'm also getting mixed signals from my digestive system - hunger pangs and indigestion seem like they shouldn't go together.) Or maybe I'm just in a SAD phase. I don't know.
I'm not looking for answers or advice here. I'm just doing a little brain dump. Sometimes that just helps, ya know?