Friday, February 02, 2007


Winter should be a restful time. Read books. Keep warm by the fire. Spend time with family. Think ahead and make plans.

I am going through those motions, but for some reason, I have this anxious feeling. Short temper, frustration, tension, a feeling of being overwhelmed or burned out. And I don't know why. It's been with me for several days now, and it's a bit exhausting. I've been active, but not particularly busy. I don't find myself fixated on anything particular problem. I can't even find a focus for what the feelings are about. In fact, I can't focus on much of anything. You know that feeling you get, after something negative happens, like a break up, the loss of a pet, or doing something you regret? You can't concentrate because your mind keeps wandering back to That Bad Thing that happened. It's kind of similar to that, only there is no Bad Thing. My thougths just wander off to some ambigous sense of anxiety, or bounce around like a pinball. And it's starting to piss me off! I'm ready to move on now.

Oh sure, I can find specific things to feel stressed about, but no more than usual. Probably less than usual. My kids have been a little extra cranky, but which is cause and which is effect? Maybe my poor diet lately is messing me up. (I'm also getting mixed signals from my digestive system - hunger pangs and indigestion seem like they shouldn't go together.) Or maybe I'm just in a SAD phase. I don't know.

I'm not looking for answers or advice here. I'm just doing a little brain dump. Sometimes that just helps, ya know?



At 2/03/2007 9:23 PM, Blogger Morgan said...

I totally understand! I just want to sleep these days. Perhaps its the kids being couped up? I know its an issue here.

At 2/03/2007 10:04 PM, Blogger JBTW said...

With all the brain activity -- random thoughts and such -- do you find that it's hard to fall asleep at night? That's always what screws me up, my mind is racing & no matter how exhausted I am, I won't be able to sleep until my brain shuts up.
Anyway I ask, because I actually found something that helped me -- Valerian Root. Swallow it fast with a drink of water cause it tastes nasty (don't know why someone would want to make a tea with it - suggested way), but it also smells bad (if you hold it too long, you actually need to wash your hands!).
Ok, done rambling.

At 2/04/2007 2:19 PM, Blogger e4 said...

morgan - yeah, we try to get the kids out as much as possible, but it's hard. I miss being able to turn them out in the back yard with a garden hose for an hour or two.

jbtw - I have experienced what you're talking about from time to time, but oddly enough, not right now. Going to sleep hasn't been a problem. I've had a couple freaky dreams lately, but I do crash when I hit the pillow. I may try valerian root sometime anyway though. You never know what will work. Thanks for the suggestion...

At 2/05/2007 4:32 PM, Blogger network_weasel said...

Dump away. I was also inexplicably grumpy last week. The things that were upsetting me were nothing worth the effort. "Sometimes you gets the blues and sometimes the blues get you." or something along those lines. I think it was watching a bit of "Weekend at Bernies" Saturday that helped most.

At 2/06/2007 1:44 PM, Blogger Suzer said...

I have to say that the fact that winter finally showed up after a 50 degree December hasn't helped my mood any!

At 2/07/2007 7:51 AM, Blogger Madcap said...

Tap-tippety-tap-tap. It's what's keeping me together body and soul through February.

Valerian and melatonin together is pretty good.

Hope you're all keeping well. Fortify with hugs and chocolate. ;-)

At 2/07/2007 2:08 PM, Blogger Mia said...

We have that here too. Winter. Bleah.


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