I'm too sexy for my dirt
It's come to my attention that The
Don't get me wrong - I'm flattered. It's just that anybody who's met me in person knows I'm a bit self-conscious and fairly nerdy. I don't recall ever being described to as "hot" before. I don't exude confidence, allure, or pheromones.
I started keeping my hair cut short so that I could do it myself with clippers. The upside is that after cutting it, I don't have to mess with it at all. The downside is that it grows and I eventually put the kids on the school bus looking like Nick Nolte's mug shot before I realize it's time to buzz it again. My natural wardrobe is a plain t-shirt and jeans. Almost my entire wardrobe comes from the local thrift shop, and one of my favorite shirts will be old enough to legally buy its own alcohol next year. I recently added a zip-up hoodie for that Unabomber look. My daughter's sleep issues mean I often have bags under my eyes. In fact, this morning, when I went to drop off some canned goods at the local food pantry, they thought I was among the needy.
But maybe the Universe has taken a turn in my favor. Maybe dork is the new hot.
So if you want to win one for the anti-hero, remember to vote for me in Crunchy's poll when it appears.