Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Ol' Factory

Smell is such a primal sense. It's like there's not much processing involved - your nose is hotwired directly to the center of your brain. If you wave a box of 64 Crayolas under the nose of your grandpa, it might instantly send his mind back to his mother's kitchen table, at age 5. If you open a container of Play-Doh near mom, she may suddenly remember combing it out of your hair while you sat in your high chair, with a Day-Glo orange grin on your face. Sometimes I can't even identify a smell, except to to say, "This place smells like my grandma's attic!"

...which is why I think candles and sprays and incense in the bathroom can be problematic.

I had a college roommate who loved to use a vanilla-scented candle in the bathroom to mask certain odors. But it didn't really make the offending odor go away, it just kind of gave it something to mingle with. And for a long time it created an association in my nose-to-brain pathway between spicy vanilla and stinky poo.

It's a dangerous game.

If you go with cinnamon, or orange, you risk recalling bowel movements at breakfast. Lavendar or rose might tell your brain that somebody dropped a deuce in the herb garden. Apple or cherry might lead your imagination to somebody taking a dump on your dessert. "Cotton" or "Fresh Linen" scent might make you think somebody crapped the bed. These are just not associations that make life better.

So I'm proposing a new line of bathroom fragrances, such as:

  • Boss's Desk

  • Ex's Doorstep

  • Congressman's Mailbox

  • The Break Room in DirecTV's Customer Service Department

Think it'll work?



At 12/04/2006 5:40 AM, Blogger Will said...

I don't know if it will work or not, but I say it is definately worth a try!

Funny stuff old man, funny stuff.

At 12/04/2006 5:45 PM, Blogger Madcap said...

You are a very funny man today, e4!

At 12/04/2006 6:23 PM, Blogger LauraHinNJ said...

You are absolutely right! I think you may be on to something.

At 12/05/2006 12:51 PM, Blogger Suzer said...

I laughed out loud about the deuce in the herb garden... I thought only my husband called it that!

At 12/06/2006 1:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's really funny! Thanks for the good laugh!

How about "Dirty Laundry Basket" or
"Chicken Coop."

Kathy McMahon

At 12/06/2006 6:23 PM, Anonymous GTR said...

Ewwwww! In my town, the wastewater treatment plant once attempted to use "masking scents", including bubble gum. Luckily I didn't live here then, but I still hear people talking about it. Yuck!

At 12/23/2008 2:35 PM, Anonymous leslie said...

Funny, funny stuff!

And it does run parallel to my Bully Crackers idea!

The chemical manufacturing plant near my childhood home would mask the noxious smells it produced with a synthetic skunk smell.

I happen to like real skunk smell, (emphasis on 'real') and it added insult to injury for me.

At 12/23/2008 2:37 PM, Anonymous leslie said...

How about eau de IRS?

At 12/23/2008 2:41 PM, Blogger e4 said...

Leslie, I don't mind skunk either most of the time.

But two nights ago our resident barn cat and our resident bark skunk got into a tussle inside our attached garage. A little much for me. But what can you do?

At 12/23/2008 2:50 PM, Anonymous leslie said...

Well, you could light a vanilla scented candle... :)

At 12/23/2008 2:53 PM, Blogger e4 said...

As I was typing this, my daughter managed to spill mouthwash all over the floor. Took me a minute to pinpoint that smell. Especially with skunk perfume still hanging around.

My life is so weird sometimes...


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